What am I feeling? What will I do next?
An emptiness at the center of my being. I feel disgusted and deflated. I feel tired and emotionally drained. I feel helpless and sad. I am appalled at how some men and women are relentlessly incapable of compassion and empathy. I am disappointed at the lack of understanding about the impact of emotional and physical violence on individuals.
I want to crawl into a hole and not leave the house or just give up and live in a remote place off the grid.
Uppermost I am sad. Sad that we have to grief all over again. Sad that we have to do this all over again. Sad about all the unnecessary grief, anger, emotional burden, and violence – both physical and emotional – that we are all experiencing, whether we are conscious of it or not.
I am a fighter, it is in my nature to question everything and to test the limits. I will continue to be a fighter. But I cannot do this alone.
I realize that I need to take care of myself in order to face the reality that this fight will not end within my lifetime. Everything that we change will be challenged.
This is the dawn of the 21st Century. There is little evidence, in my opinion, that anything will change unless we are in positions of power. We must nurture and support this and future generations of powerful women. We must continue to tell our stories. We must develop the support systems we need in order to be agents of change, always vigilant and persistent. We cannot sit on the sidelines or blame others. We cannot coast through life.
What I know – the path will be hard and we need compassion for our and others’ emotional burdens. Empathy is key to understanding where we are in our lives and what is our role. Courage is required to own our power and stand in integrity. The connections we develop are essential to support each other, grow our impact, nurture our community, heal ourselves and our planet and move into action.
Today I pause, reflect, admit I am vulnerable and cannot do this alone.
Every day I take care of myself and live in gratitude for all the friends, family and colleagues that enrich my life.
Tomorrow I wake up and start all over again, as long as it takes, with compassion, courage, and connection.
The first step for all is to vote in this and all elections in our lifetime.
It is up to us to understand and use the current political and economic systems to change our future and the future of our planet. To reimagine our society and change our worldview. We must sit in positions of power, grounded in our values and supporting and promoting those who stand with us.
Please join me by supporting other women, helping them and you to develop daring plans to be in positions of power, and creating networks where the connections they and you need happen and women can stay vigilant and be persistent in taking care of themselves for the long run.